Growing

DiNNer Fujoshi World 

≡┏( ^p^)┓≡┗( ^q^)┛≡┏( ^p^)┓

Growing up, how a painful comprehension.

Today my room flooded. 

Because the washing machine was leaks, the water discharged full flow into my room.

I'm very flurry.

And all of my housemate,NO ONE give me a helping hand.

Just come observe how the situation.

The only who come and help me, is my neighbor who live opposite and my classmate.

When i done my clean up,I asked my housemate the reason.

They answer me :"We don't know how to help you,and you seem very independent,you should can handle you own thing! You're an adult!"

I'm speechless. 

I'm an adult? So I should can handle my own business alone?  

Ah, yes, It is so. This society, teachers both are teaching us that we must be an independent adult. 

Start from when?

Growth has make us to become so ridiculous?HaHaHaHaHaHaHahaha!!!!!

When I flash back my life, I felt that..

The simple pleasure,was no longer with me for a long time.

No matter the sky is sunny or raining, I had no longer felt impressive.

Just blindly in urged to keep juggling，But what exactly make me so busy? 

I don't know. Just do what they call me to do.

Then spent whole day, whole month, whole year, day and night rushed and rushed to finish it. 

although is tired but I'm already can't feel it.

No purpose, no effort, just in blind obedience to their orders.

What is the answer in the end ? Is that part of growing that we really need? Part of our life that can‘t escape?

I felt like crying, but I still laughing.

I knew that I'm so care, but pretend it like doesn't matter.

I would like to stay,but said firmly to leave.

I'm suffering, but I keep tell them I am very happy.

I can't forget it, and I said I has been forgotten.

I can't to let it go, but I said Yes.

I knew I am reluctant, but keep saying I've had enough.

I knew I am lying, and I TELL them it is truth.

Although my tears have almost overflow from the eyes, but my heads still held high.

I knew that this "disguise" was tired, was disgusting,was suffering,

but I had to remain.

Because they told me, this means that you are "Growing up".

What exactly growing is?

For child, growing was their pursuit.

Everybody is expecting, keep urging themselves to become an adult.

Pretending to be mature, to imitate behavior of the adult,

when heard others said they was a little adult, always feel very proud.

They can't waiting to be an adult.

How about teenager?

They also expecting to keep growing and growing, 

they felt that become adult,they can has their own freedom.

But actually in the process of growing, they represent wayward and freedom.

But they don't know.

Until they really mature, only they know the truth.

And for who admit that they are a mature adult,

they cherish the memory of their past, complained they present and fear for their future?

I am not sure,but i know most of them were unhappy.

We grow for what?

For suffering?

I'm confused.

I am suffering but I know I still have to go on.